I have noticed that a lot of adults break up and keep in contact with their ex??? Where they do that at?? I always figured being friends with an ex was a privilege especially if you break up on bad terms. Aren't adults to old to break up and go back in forth, shouldn't we be at the age where breaking up is a bit ridiculous I mean adults can work things out right??... I came across this and I thought it would be helpful to all of those who are struggling with getting over a break up; here are 10 tips to help you:
1. Avoid the Friend Zone- when it's over, it's over! There is no such thing as being friends with your ex right away. In time, you can be friends but take the time you need to heal! No phone calls, no random late night sleepovers because "I miss you". Stay strong and avoid contact for at least 90 days!
2. Reject the Negative Stupor- if you've already done your crying or had your fit of anger, let it be done! On those nights when you're feeling lonely or sad, don't wallow in it, get up and go somewhere! Go to a restaurant and have a drink, go rent a movie, hit the gym, hook up with some friends. Whatever it is, catch yourself before falling into the abyss of sadness.
3. Do Not Get Drunk and Dial- alcohol and a cell phone are the perfect elixir for a disaster! Getting drunk and calling your ex to ask all the questions you think you want to know the answers to "do you miss me?" or "have you been seeing anybody else?". You might not be prepared for the answer or attitude on the other end of the phone saying "take your drunk ass to bed". This is never good. Remove the numbers from your phone to avoid these kind of nights.
4. Refrain from Random Sex- finding a "jump-off" or void filler is nothing more than a quick fix that doesn't help you in the grand scheme of things. Furthermore, why pass the pain that you're feeling on to someone else? Nobody wins. Take the time you need to heal; jumping into a fling immediately after a break up is not healthy and likely ends up being a waste of time.
5. Switch It Up- go through your house and rearrange your furniture, especially in the bedroom. Move your bed to another corner or switch up the entire layout of your living room! You can take it a step further and paint a room or two a different color. This helps refresh your attitude and enhances the desire to turn a new leaf.
6. Refresh Your Bed- Burn some incense, turn the mattress over, get rid of sheets, buy a new comforter! The bed is where your mind and body should be at rest and it's extremely difficult to do so when you've shared your bed with your ex. If you rearrange your sleep space and refresh your bed, you should rest much easier.
7. Learn the Lesson- you should always take some time and evaluate the 5 W's: who, what, where, when and why and also how. What did you do to contribute to your relationship failing? Where was your head, in the clouds, in denial, numb? When did you finally realize it was over? Why did it end? What have you learned and how will you apply what you've learned to your next relationship?
8. Do You- after a break up it's so easy to get lost in your sadness and let yourself go. Just because you no longer have a girlfriend don't veg on the PS3, drink heavily and fail to get your line up. Ladies, don't let your nails and toes suffer and develop a habit of eating ice cream in the bed every night! Go to the barber! Go to the salon! Go get your mani/pedi! Hit the gym harder! Be better, not bitter!
9. Get Over It- rid your place of all things ex! Don't hoard personal items like his basketball shorts you like to wear or her sweater she used to wear around the house that you occasionally sniff. Let it all go! If weeks have passed and he/she has yet to retrieve their items, toss them! Or put them in a box and tuck it away.
10. Surround Yourself with Love- there are people that love you regardless of your hardships. So don't be too proud to reach out to them and let them know you need them. If it's your siblings, other family members or your best friends you can never have enough support through your transition.
A break up is never a walk in the park but if you have the right attitude and the right people around you it can make your transition to the single life much smoother and less lonely!
